Ruby City Application
Oct. 25th, 2013 07:47 pmPLAYER
Name: James
Age: 20
Personal Journal:![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
vastexpletive
E-mail: floridiancheese@gmail.com
AIM/MSN/etc: my AIM is the same as my email.
CHARACTER
Character Name: (Alpha) Dave Strider
Canon: Homestuck
Age: It's not stated specifically but doing some math puts him in his 50s. So I'm going to peg him at about 53.
Timeline: Post death
If playing another character from the same canon, how will you deal with this?: This is only to be used if are already playing another character from the canon you are applying for. For example, if you are apping Mario and you already play Princess Peach in the game, how will you handle their interactions without playercesting? I don't play anyone else!
Personality: First and foremost, Dave is an expert and master of irony. There ain't nobody from his time that could top him in the irony department. He's made an empire off of ironic movies and shitty jpeg artifacts. He's made a complex ironic system involving his movies where even if you order one, you probably get the wrong one. Or money deposited in your account. It's all part of the ~experience~, as explained by Dirk Strider. Dave also happens to be the coolest guy you will ever meet and he fucking knows it, in fact it's probably impossible to find anyone in his universe cooler than him.
Or at least, the latter is the facade he puts up. He portrays himself as distant and aloof, not really getting close to anyone. The only close friend he has is Rose Lalonde, whom he loves dearly like a sister. Considering where he comes from, with how fucked up and ridiculous his time became, it's much easier and far less dangerous to just keep himself distant from everyone; he's not a secretive man by nature, but due to events from his world, he's learned to be a well guarded person, both physically as well as mentally. His aloofness also fits in nicely with his career, so he plays the part of douchebag movie director very well. On that note, he handles fame pretty well. He might get cocky on occasion and it's a source of pride, but he doesn't really let them fame go to his head. He's pretty chill about it, even if fans can get pretty fucking weird on occasion. It's an ignorance is bliss kind of thing; he prefers not to know just how weird they can get.
Just because he doesn't get close to people much doesn't mean he's incapable. When he trusts people, he's considerably more open. He has a great sense of humor and, while he can be a bit of an ass sometimes, it's not really meant in seriousness, though if people take it that way then that's generally their problem. For the most part, Dave is a pretty chill person, taking things in stride and not letting them get to him- though he can be pretty immature on occasion- especially when he feels backed into a corner, or during uncomfortable situations. It's times like that which he gets cagey and evasive and is not the most mature acting. When that happens, he tends to start using metaphors to distract people and mask how he's really feeling. It's all a part of his guarded nature.
Rose is one of the only people Dave has ever gotten close to, and it's his friendship to Rose that one really gets the sense of just how loyal and caring Dave is when it comes to his friends. If he puts his trust in you, it's there and if you fuck it up, it's not an easy thing to get back. But if you are his friend, if you actually manage to break through his walls and he puts his trust in you, there ain't a whole lot he won't do for you. He would be willing to lay his life down for Rose, and it's likely the same could be said if he were friends with someone else in the same sense- though Rose will always hold a special place in his heart, both because they're family and because of everything they've been through, both personally and regarding the Condesce. It's kind of hard, after all, not to grow extremely close to someone when you're both in the rebellion and working together to try and bring down a troll's reign.
On the subject of trolls, Dave does not hold any positive opinions towards trolls in the least. When your world is taken over by the Empress of the troll race, it doesn't make it easy to have a positive opinion of them. His movies started out as something he did because it was a thing he was passionate about, before evolving into a subtle 'fuck you' to the Condesce and her rule over Earth. He opposed it so much that he got involved in the rebellion and, in the end, and even if he knew it was probably a futile fight, he laid down his life trying to defeat her, along with Rose Lalonde. So, suffice to say, even though Dave has only ever had encounters with the Empress, it didn't do anything to endear him to trolls or their way of life in general.
A big thing that sets apart Alpha Dave from his pre scratch self is the lack of one key factor: A bro. Alpha Dave grew up without the presence of anyone he could identify as family. As such, he never really had the chance to grow an inferiority complex as his pre scratch self did. This means that Alpha Dave is considerably more confident in himself and has far less self doubt than his other self. He doesn't necessarily view himself as a hero, but he also doesn't downplay his strengths and play up anyone else's. He also, unlike his pre scratch self, doesn't fear death quite as much. He didn't hesitate to lay down his life during his fight with the Condesce, though just as Dave grew out of his own fear, Alpha Dave probably did similar growing throughout his life. That isn't to say he's completely devoid of issues, but that just isn't one of them.
If anything, Dave's biggest issue is, not his own mortality, but the mortality of the people he cares about and the fact that relationships are hardly ever infinite. He's a rather big try hard when it comes to relationships; he wants to impress people and have them genuinely think he's cool. Not in the aloof, distant kind of way but the badass, look at me kind of way. It rarely ever works out and mostly just ends up making him look like an idiot, but he still tries. Because after all, it's not the opinion of the masses that matters to him, it's the opinion of those he's closest to. In the end, he just wants to be liked by the people that matter and the people that he cares about. If in the end he ends up looking like a massive goober, he hopes like hell it at least makes him endearing enough for them to stick around.
Another thing that Dave shares with his pre-scratch self is a certain prudish nature. Despite the fact he uses sexual innuendo and really foul language often, both in casual conversation and in his raps, he isn't a very open person when it comes to sex. Blatant displays of a sexual nature tend to make him uncomfortable, and while he has a weird love/hate interest in ventriloquist puppets (a fact he keeps to himself) thanks to the vague dreams he has about them, puppets in general freak him out. Especially sexually provocative puppets. He isn't sure why, but all he knows is they are really fucking unsettling. Needless to say you will never see him own a sex doll. But in general, he finds sex and the like something that should be kept private, and it's pretty easy to freak him out by being too forward. He is, for lack of a better way to phrase it, not very smooth in the department of love.
Alpha Dave also shares a large variety of hobbies with his pre-scratch self, ranging from rapping, photography and collecting dead things. He's made something more of a career out of his photography than his pre-scratch self, having graduated from ironic selfies to something a bit more professional- not that he needs to, of course, considering he's rich as fuck, but it's a hobby he enjoys immensely. His interest in dead things can be described as pretty macabre, but fans like to use the term 'eccentric' lovingly whenever anyone catches a glimpse of his dead things in jars that he likes to keep on his shelves. He likes to dabble in other things like video games, but with everything else he rarely has the time for anything like that. He's very dedicated to his work and that's what he usually focuses his time on. When he dedicates himself to something, he doesn't like to stop until it's finished, even if it leads to losing sleep.
Overall, Dave can be described as a jack of all trades kind of guy. There are a lot of qualities that set him out from the rest, but they all come together to make a pretty big goober- I mean human. Because that's essentially Dave in a nutshell: he is a human. One who tries too hard and sometimes overworks himself and makes mistakes, but in the end he means well. Unless you're a troll, and then he would probably rather just stab you in the face with a shitty sword and then gently float off on a shitty skateboard.
History: Alpha Dave is the product of what happened when the Beta kids had to scratch their session and create a new one. In the new session, Dave became the guardian whereas his brother became the player, essentially creating a mirror-verse in a very technical sense. It isn't quite so black and white though, as there are several differences in the grand scheme of things- like the fact that, unlike in the beta session, the Striders in the Alpha session have never actually met, and as such, Dave ended up living alone his whole life.
But that's getting ahead of things. Backing up to the near beginning, Dave had a pretty normal life for the most part, up until things started going south. Pretty soon into adulthood, Dave happened to make it big with Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff. Like, really big, we're talking movies upon movies with layers of irony in each one. Along with making movies, he patented three-dimensional JPEG artifacts. The cost to make them was basically negative, meaning he made money just for manufacturing them. Suffice to say, Dave was perfectly well off financially.
Life was pretty good for him, to be honest. With his money he bought his own museum, which he filled with all kinds of ironic shit. Movie memorabilia, sentimental items, that kind of thing; the limits of irony sometimes knew no bounds. His prized possession, however, happened to be the shades given to him by Ben Stiller himself from the movie Starsky and Hutch. Those didn't make it to the museum; they stayed firmly on his face ever since then. It was also sometime around then that Dave developed an unexplained obsession with the movie Con Air. This seems to suggest that, while he doesn't know about the alternate timelines and the like, bits and pieces of it stuck with him, as Con Air was a movie John Egbert, his best friend, liked a lot.
Dave wasn't completely alone in all of this, either. Early in his life, he met Rose Lalonde, who would also later become famous for her series of books 'Complacency Of The Learned' and the two of them became very close friends. It's unclear whether or not the two of them knew they were related, but with the hints that they'd retained bits and pieces of their memories and it outright stating bits of Rose's Seer powers were left too, it's possible that Rose knew and told Dave of this. (I will be going with the assumption that he does, as it seems like a pretty logical leap that she would have told him.) Either way, the two of them were close and shared much of their lives as well as their fame together.
Upon the rebranding of Crockercorp is when things really started going downhill, for Dave and Rose as well as Earth in general. Dave's movies became subtle, subliminal messages against the Batterwitch and her tyranny as her power continued to grow and she took over more and more. It was subtle at first, the kind of thing that was easy to miss. He nor Rose wanted to cause too much of a stir right away. It went on for years, with he and Rose indirectly fighting against her wherever they could. It didn't go unnoticed by the Batterwitch though, and she had the actors who played Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff assassinated.
Things on Earth had been getting progressively worse by the time everything finally hit the fan. Two juggalos had been made president, soda coming from the taps, things of that nature. Overall, Earth was a shitty place to be. The time eventually came for Dave and Rose to try a more direct approach after all of subtle rebellion. Dave attacked and killed the presidents on the roof of the White House while Rose went after another target. It was more symbolic than anything, as there was no uprising of any kind after that it happened. The only thing onlookers would remember was a man floating into the sky on a shitty skateboard.
Soon after that, Dave and Rose took the fight to the Batterwitch herself, though not after Dave made sure his apartment was stocked for the future when the brother he had never met would eventually end up. Unfortunately the attack was not successful. Dave died from a sword broken off in his chest, mirroring both how his brother in the beta session had died, and how his beta self had used a half a sword for a weapon.
Abilities: Unlike his pre-scratch self, Dave doesn't really have any particularly fantastic supernatural powers. That isn't to say that bits of them didn't make their way into him in basic ways. Mostly, he's just very conscientious of time- not very exciting, but at least he's only ever fashionably late deliberately.
He's a skilled swordsman and can hold his own in a fight, and he's also faster than the average old man- quite a bit faster. But honestly other than that? He's nothing super special- just your average 50something man with the ability to fight well. His skills include rapping, irony, and making shitty movies. His weaknesses are for the most part that of a normal middle aged man.
Though it only vaguely counts, Dave has also been subjected to weird dreams throughout his life. He dreams of the pre-scratch timeline on occasion, though everything about it is vague and confusing. Needless to say, meeting people from his dreams is going to be pretty fucking jarring.
Relationships to Canon Characters: The only person from the series he's met is Alpha Rose, who is currently not in the game. She's his ectobiological sister. The Condesce sort of counts, in the sense that she killed him soon after having met her face to face for the first time years after blatantly opposing her, though she isn't in the game either. The only other one Dave has direct connections to is Dirk, and even then he's never actually MET Dirk. The two of them are ecto-bros, though Dirk's meteor landed far in the future instead of Dave's time. Finally there's Beta Dave, but Dave doesn't even know he exists.
First Person: Oh look heaven has texting now
I would have thought that would go against the bible or something
I'm a true God fearing Texan after all I would fucking hate to commit an unholy blasphemy
Can you hear me God
It's me Dave
What's up homie how are you this fine twilight
Me I'm not so good because y'know I never asked to be brought here
I was kinda enjoying the peace and quiet that comes with not existing anymore
God are you there
Hello?
Wait a second what am I thinking
Of course you're not there because this isn't the fucking afterlife
I'm just talking to air with a big fat bunch of radio silence on the other end
This is pointless and I don't know why I'm even bothering
Maybe I just like talking to myself
Yes that's it that's always been it
Hi Dave
S'up
Not much sure is a shitty situation we've found ourselves in huh?
I dunno man all things considered this ain't so bad I mean you could have ended up being Condy's bitch for life
That is a very valid point thank you Dave but also I didn't need the mental image
Neither did I but self sacrifices have to be made in order to see the light sometimes bro
Hahahaha you're talking to me about self sacrifice Dave?
Tou fucking ché
Yeah yeah well I'm gonna go explore this shitty not!afterlife now so you take care of yourself Dave
You too bro you too
Stay cool man
As if you even need to tell me that hahaha
Right right my bad of course I don't
Yeah this is us you're talking about man being anything but cool is a literal fucking impossibility
It ain't my fault my brain decided to pass the nastiest of gases ok
No kidding I mean that was the kind of shit you get when Paula Deen eats taco bell and has to take a dump
Wow was that even necessary I did not need to think of Paula Deens buttery dumps
Say you're sorry then
Ugh alright I'm sorry there God
Alright fine I forgive you this time but don't do it again. Anyway I'm really gonna go now so ttyl
Yeah catch you later dude
Third Person: Dying really hadn't been so bad. Maybe it helped that he'd been ready for it- they'd both been ready for it. Or maybe what had helped was that he hadn't had to do it alone; having Rose there and knowing they were together until the end was comforting. He'd already made his peace with dying- it was an inevitability and they had both known that. In the end, it really wasn't as bad as everyone made it out to be.
Well, aside from the excruciating pain of having his own sword broken off in his chest, but in the grand scheme of things he figured that was pretty minor compared to another thirty or forty years under the Condesce's reign. Dave would have preferred dying trying to take her down rather than just sitting idly by while she continued to fuck over the world- if it could even get any more fucked up than it had already gotten by his end.
When the pain was finally over, there really wasn't anything left. Just... nothing. Nothing for what seemed both like forever, and yet none at all. And then just like that, the darkness faded and he found himself waking up. That wasn't supposed to happen, was it? Dave was never a religious man, so the thought of an afterlife hadn't really occurred to him. One thing he was hyper aware of was that Rose wasn't there with him. She'd been there through everything, throughout his entire life and was there at the end. If this was the afterlife, she should have been there, too.
And beyond that, what the hell kind of afterlife involved trains? It seemed a bit cliché, not to mention over dramatic. Leave it to Dave to critique the afterlife- if it even was, which he was convinced it wasn't, because of the simple fact Rose wasn't there. Why would he, of all people, get to go to the great big train in the sky but leave her behind? If anything, he felt like it would be the other way around. It was around then that his senses finally kicked in and he realized that Rose would probably chastise him for worrying so much. The priority upon waking up on a random train after dying was not worrying about your sister; it was seeing the destination.
Also, it would have probably involved some psychoanalytical babble about Freud or something, but Dave didn't want to think about that. So he waited, watching the large expanse of fields rolling by out the window. For miles on end, there was nothing at all and after a while, Dave was starting to get bored. There wasn't even a shitty in-train movie to keep him occupied; the only thing that did that was the weird feeling that he wasn't quite alone. Over the years, you kind of started to trust your gut feelings, especially when the world was controlled by an evil fish alien bent on turning the humans into copies of her troll race. But even trusting his gut instincts, the simple fact of the matter was no one was there. Every now and then he would look behind him, or around, but nothing popped out and went 'boo' no matter how often he expected it to. "If the afterlife involves constantly feeling like Slenderman is about to bad touch you, then I'd rather go back to the whole not existing thing again," he called out, expecting some godly voice to be like 'sit down and shut up'.
It didn't come. Instead, it was as if he'd spoken the magic words. Or, alternatively, he'd just spoken up at an overly convenient time, because the train started coming to a slow stop. "Yeah that's right, I am fucking magical."
When the doors opened, what Dave saw wasn't really what he was expecting. It was... a city. Was that seriously it? An ominous, fog filled train ride and he ended up at a fairly normal looking city? "I demand a refund, this is the shittiest anticlimax I've ever seen." He was still speaking a little loudly, as if calling out to whatever unseen force that might be watching. God? Lucifer? Bueller?
Name: James
Age: 20
Personal Journal:
vastexpletiveE-mail: floridiancheese@gmail.com
AIM/MSN/etc: my AIM is the same as my email.
CHARACTER
Character Name: (Alpha) Dave Strider
Canon: Homestuck
Age: It's not stated specifically but doing some math puts him in his 50s. So I'm going to peg him at about 53.
Timeline: Post death
If playing another character from the same canon, how will you deal with this?: This is only to be used if are already playing another character from the canon you are applying for. For example, if you are apping Mario and you already play Princess Peach in the game, how will you handle their interactions without playercesting? I don't play anyone else!
Personality: First and foremost, Dave is an expert and master of irony. There ain't nobody from his time that could top him in the irony department. He's made an empire off of ironic movies and shitty jpeg artifacts. He's made a complex ironic system involving his movies where even if you order one, you probably get the wrong one. Or money deposited in your account. It's all part of the ~experience~, as explained by Dirk Strider. Dave also happens to be the coolest guy you will ever meet and he fucking knows it, in fact it's probably impossible to find anyone in his universe cooler than him.
Or at least, the latter is the facade he puts up. He portrays himself as distant and aloof, not really getting close to anyone. The only close friend he has is Rose Lalonde, whom he loves dearly like a sister. Considering where he comes from, with how fucked up and ridiculous his time became, it's much easier and far less dangerous to just keep himself distant from everyone; he's not a secretive man by nature, but due to events from his world, he's learned to be a well guarded person, both physically as well as mentally. His aloofness also fits in nicely with his career, so he plays the part of douchebag movie director very well. On that note, he handles fame pretty well. He might get cocky on occasion and it's a source of pride, but he doesn't really let them fame go to his head. He's pretty chill about it, even if fans can get pretty fucking weird on occasion. It's an ignorance is bliss kind of thing; he prefers not to know just how weird they can get.
Just because he doesn't get close to people much doesn't mean he's incapable. When he trusts people, he's considerably more open. He has a great sense of humor and, while he can be a bit of an ass sometimes, it's not really meant in seriousness, though if people take it that way then that's generally their problem. For the most part, Dave is a pretty chill person, taking things in stride and not letting them get to him- though he can be pretty immature on occasion- especially when he feels backed into a corner, or during uncomfortable situations. It's times like that which he gets cagey and evasive and is not the most mature acting. When that happens, he tends to start using metaphors to distract people and mask how he's really feeling. It's all a part of his guarded nature.
Rose is one of the only people Dave has ever gotten close to, and it's his friendship to Rose that one really gets the sense of just how loyal and caring Dave is when it comes to his friends. If he puts his trust in you, it's there and if you fuck it up, it's not an easy thing to get back. But if you are his friend, if you actually manage to break through his walls and he puts his trust in you, there ain't a whole lot he won't do for you. He would be willing to lay his life down for Rose, and it's likely the same could be said if he were friends with someone else in the same sense- though Rose will always hold a special place in his heart, both because they're family and because of everything they've been through, both personally and regarding the Condesce. It's kind of hard, after all, not to grow extremely close to someone when you're both in the rebellion and working together to try and bring down a troll's reign.
On the subject of trolls, Dave does not hold any positive opinions towards trolls in the least. When your world is taken over by the Empress of the troll race, it doesn't make it easy to have a positive opinion of them. His movies started out as something he did because it was a thing he was passionate about, before evolving into a subtle 'fuck you' to the Condesce and her rule over Earth. He opposed it so much that he got involved in the rebellion and, in the end, and even if he knew it was probably a futile fight, he laid down his life trying to defeat her, along with Rose Lalonde. So, suffice to say, even though Dave has only ever had encounters with the Empress, it didn't do anything to endear him to trolls or their way of life in general.
A big thing that sets apart Alpha Dave from his pre scratch self is the lack of one key factor: A bro. Alpha Dave grew up without the presence of anyone he could identify as family. As such, he never really had the chance to grow an inferiority complex as his pre scratch self did. This means that Alpha Dave is considerably more confident in himself and has far less self doubt than his other self. He doesn't necessarily view himself as a hero, but he also doesn't downplay his strengths and play up anyone else's. He also, unlike his pre scratch self, doesn't fear death quite as much. He didn't hesitate to lay down his life during his fight with the Condesce, though just as Dave grew out of his own fear, Alpha Dave probably did similar growing throughout his life. That isn't to say he's completely devoid of issues, but that just isn't one of them.
If anything, Dave's biggest issue is, not his own mortality, but the mortality of the people he cares about and the fact that relationships are hardly ever infinite. He's a rather big try hard when it comes to relationships; he wants to impress people and have them genuinely think he's cool. Not in the aloof, distant kind of way but the badass, look at me kind of way. It rarely ever works out and mostly just ends up making him look like an idiot, but he still tries. Because after all, it's not the opinion of the masses that matters to him, it's the opinion of those he's closest to. In the end, he just wants to be liked by the people that matter and the people that he cares about. If in the end he ends up looking like a massive goober, he hopes like hell it at least makes him endearing enough for them to stick around.
Another thing that Dave shares with his pre-scratch self is a certain prudish nature. Despite the fact he uses sexual innuendo and really foul language often, both in casual conversation and in his raps, he isn't a very open person when it comes to sex. Blatant displays of a sexual nature tend to make him uncomfortable, and while he has a weird love/hate interest in ventriloquist puppets (a fact he keeps to himself) thanks to the vague dreams he has about them, puppets in general freak him out. Especially sexually provocative puppets. He isn't sure why, but all he knows is they are really fucking unsettling. Needless to say you will never see him own a sex doll. But in general, he finds sex and the like something that should be kept private, and it's pretty easy to freak him out by being too forward. He is, for lack of a better way to phrase it, not very smooth in the department of love.
Alpha Dave also shares a large variety of hobbies with his pre-scratch self, ranging from rapping, photography and collecting dead things. He's made something more of a career out of his photography than his pre-scratch self, having graduated from ironic selfies to something a bit more professional- not that he needs to, of course, considering he's rich as fuck, but it's a hobby he enjoys immensely. His interest in dead things can be described as pretty macabre, but fans like to use the term 'eccentric' lovingly whenever anyone catches a glimpse of his dead things in jars that he likes to keep on his shelves. He likes to dabble in other things like video games, but with everything else he rarely has the time for anything like that. He's very dedicated to his work and that's what he usually focuses his time on. When he dedicates himself to something, he doesn't like to stop until it's finished, even if it leads to losing sleep.
Overall, Dave can be described as a jack of all trades kind of guy. There are a lot of qualities that set him out from the rest, but they all come together to make a pretty big goober- I mean human. Because that's essentially Dave in a nutshell: he is a human. One who tries too hard and sometimes overworks himself and makes mistakes, but in the end he means well. Unless you're a troll, and then he would probably rather just stab you in the face with a shitty sword and then gently float off on a shitty skateboard.
History: Alpha Dave is the product of what happened when the Beta kids had to scratch their session and create a new one. In the new session, Dave became the guardian whereas his brother became the player, essentially creating a mirror-verse in a very technical sense. It isn't quite so black and white though, as there are several differences in the grand scheme of things- like the fact that, unlike in the beta session, the Striders in the Alpha session have never actually met, and as such, Dave ended up living alone his whole life.
But that's getting ahead of things. Backing up to the near beginning, Dave had a pretty normal life for the most part, up until things started going south. Pretty soon into adulthood, Dave happened to make it big with Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff. Like, really big, we're talking movies upon movies with layers of irony in each one. Along with making movies, he patented three-dimensional JPEG artifacts. The cost to make them was basically negative, meaning he made money just for manufacturing them. Suffice to say, Dave was perfectly well off financially.
Life was pretty good for him, to be honest. With his money he bought his own museum, which he filled with all kinds of ironic shit. Movie memorabilia, sentimental items, that kind of thing; the limits of irony sometimes knew no bounds. His prized possession, however, happened to be the shades given to him by Ben Stiller himself from the movie Starsky and Hutch. Those didn't make it to the museum; they stayed firmly on his face ever since then. It was also sometime around then that Dave developed an unexplained obsession with the movie Con Air. This seems to suggest that, while he doesn't know about the alternate timelines and the like, bits and pieces of it stuck with him, as Con Air was a movie John Egbert, his best friend, liked a lot.
Dave wasn't completely alone in all of this, either. Early in his life, he met Rose Lalonde, who would also later become famous for her series of books 'Complacency Of The Learned' and the two of them became very close friends. It's unclear whether or not the two of them knew they were related, but with the hints that they'd retained bits and pieces of their memories and it outright stating bits of Rose's Seer powers were left too, it's possible that Rose knew and told Dave of this. (I will be going with the assumption that he does, as it seems like a pretty logical leap that she would have told him.) Either way, the two of them were close and shared much of their lives as well as their fame together.
Upon the rebranding of Crockercorp is when things really started going downhill, for Dave and Rose as well as Earth in general. Dave's movies became subtle, subliminal messages against the Batterwitch and her tyranny as her power continued to grow and she took over more and more. It was subtle at first, the kind of thing that was easy to miss. He nor Rose wanted to cause too much of a stir right away. It went on for years, with he and Rose indirectly fighting against her wherever they could. It didn't go unnoticed by the Batterwitch though, and she had the actors who played Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff assassinated.
Things on Earth had been getting progressively worse by the time everything finally hit the fan. Two juggalos had been made president, soda coming from the taps, things of that nature. Overall, Earth was a shitty place to be. The time eventually came for Dave and Rose to try a more direct approach after all of subtle rebellion. Dave attacked and killed the presidents on the roof of the White House while Rose went after another target. It was more symbolic than anything, as there was no uprising of any kind after that it happened. The only thing onlookers would remember was a man floating into the sky on a shitty skateboard.
Soon after that, Dave and Rose took the fight to the Batterwitch herself, though not after Dave made sure his apartment was stocked for the future when the brother he had never met would eventually end up. Unfortunately the attack was not successful. Dave died from a sword broken off in his chest, mirroring both how his brother in the beta session had died, and how his beta self had used a half a sword for a weapon.
Abilities: Unlike his pre-scratch self, Dave doesn't really have any particularly fantastic supernatural powers. That isn't to say that bits of them didn't make their way into him in basic ways. Mostly, he's just very conscientious of time- not very exciting, but at least he's only ever fashionably late deliberately.
He's a skilled swordsman and can hold his own in a fight, and he's also faster than the average old man- quite a bit faster. But honestly other than that? He's nothing super special- just your average 50something man with the ability to fight well. His skills include rapping, irony, and making shitty movies. His weaknesses are for the most part that of a normal middle aged man.
Though it only vaguely counts, Dave has also been subjected to weird dreams throughout his life. He dreams of the pre-scratch timeline on occasion, though everything about it is vague and confusing. Needless to say, meeting people from his dreams is going to be pretty fucking jarring.
Relationships to Canon Characters: The only person from the series he's met is Alpha Rose, who is currently not in the game. She's his ectobiological sister. The Condesce sort of counts, in the sense that she killed him soon after having met her face to face for the first time years after blatantly opposing her, though she isn't in the game either. The only other one Dave has direct connections to is Dirk, and even then he's never actually MET Dirk. The two of them are ecto-bros, though Dirk's meteor landed far in the future instead of Dave's time. Finally there's Beta Dave, but Dave doesn't even know he exists.
First Person: Oh look heaven has texting now
I would have thought that would go against the bible or something
I'm a true God fearing Texan after all I would fucking hate to commit an unholy blasphemy
Can you hear me God
It's me Dave
What's up homie how are you this fine twilight
Me I'm not so good because y'know I never asked to be brought here
I was kinda enjoying the peace and quiet that comes with not existing anymore
God are you there
Hello?
Wait a second what am I thinking
Of course you're not there because this isn't the fucking afterlife
I'm just talking to air with a big fat bunch of radio silence on the other end
This is pointless and I don't know why I'm even bothering
Maybe I just like talking to myself
Yes that's it that's always been it
Hi Dave
S'up
Not much sure is a shitty situation we've found ourselves in huh?
I dunno man all things considered this ain't so bad I mean you could have ended up being Condy's bitch for life
That is a very valid point thank you Dave but also I didn't need the mental image
Neither did I but self sacrifices have to be made in order to see the light sometimes bro
Hahahaha you're talking to me about self sacrifice Dave?
Tou fucking ché
Yeah yeah well I'm gonna go explore this shitty not!afterlife now so you take care of yourself Dave
You too bro you too
Stay cool man
As if you even need to tell me that hahaha
Right right my bad of course I don't
Yeah this is us you're talking about man being anything but cool is a literal fucking impossibility
It ain't my fault my brain decided to pass the nastiest of gases ok
No kidding I mean that was the kind of shit you get when Paula Deen eats taco bell and has to take a dump
Wow was that even necessary I did not need to think of Paula Deens buttery dumps
Say you're sorry then
Ugh alright I'm sorry there God
Alright fine I forgive you this time but don't do it again. Anyway I'm really gonna go now so ttyl
Yeah catch you later dude
Third Person: Dying really hadn't been so bad. Maybe it helped that he'd been ready for it- they'd both been ready for it. Or maybe what had helped was that he hadn't had to do it alone; having Rose there and knowing they were together until the end was comforting. He'd already made his peace with dying- it was an inevitability and they had both known that. In the end, it really wasn't as bad as everyone made it out to be.
Well, aside from the excruciating pain of having his own sword broken off in his chest, but in the grand scheme of things he figured that was pretty minor compared to another thirty or forty years under the Condesce's reign. Dave would have preferred dying trying to take her down rather than just sitting idly by while she continued to fuck over the world- if it could even get any more fucked up than it had already gotten by his end.
When the pain was finally over, there really wasn't anything left. Just... nothing. Nothing for what seemed both like forever, and yet none at all. And then just like that, the darkness faded and he found himself waking up. That wasn't supposed to happen, was it? Dave was never a religious man, so the thought of an afterlife hadn't really occurred to him. One thing he was hyper aware of was that Rose wasn't there with him. She'd been there through everything, throughout his entire life and was there at the end. If this was the afterlife, she should have been there, too.
And beyond that, what the hell kind of afterlife involved trains? It seemed a bit cliché, not to mention over dramatic. Leave it to Dave to critique the afterlife- if it even was, which he was convinced it wasn't, because of the simple fact Rose wasn't there. Why would he, of all people, get to go to the great big train in the sky but leave her behind? If anything, he felt like it would be the other way around. It was around then that his senses finally kicked in and he realized that Rose would probably chastise him for worrying so much. The priority upon waking up on a random train after dying was not worrying about your sister; it was seeing the destination.
Also, it would have probably involved some psychoanalytical babble about Freud or something, but Dave didn't want to think about that. So he waited, watching the large expanse of fields rolling by out the window. For miles on end, there was nothing at all and after a while, Dave was starting to get bored. There wasn't even a shitty in-train movie to keep him occupied; the only thing that did that was the weird feeling that he wasn't quite alone. Over the years, you kind of started to trust your gut feelings, especially when the world was controlled by an evil fish alien bent on turning the humans into copies of her troll race. But even trusting his gut instincts, the simple fact of the matter was no one was there. Every now and then he would look behind him, or around, but nothing popped out and went 'boo' no matter how often he expected it to. "If the afterlife involves constantly feeling like Slenderman is about to bad touch you, then I'd rather go back to the whole not existing thing again," he called out, expecting some godly voice to be like 'sit down and shut up'.
It didn't come. Instead, it was as if he'd spoken the magic words. Or, alternatively, he'd just spoken up at an overly convenient time, because the train started coming to a slow stop. "Yeah that's right, I am fucking magical."
When the doors opened, what Dave saw wasn't really what he was expecting. It was... a city. Was that seriously it? An ominous, fog filled train ride and he ended up at a fairly normal looking city? "I demand a refund, this is the shittiest anticlimax I've ever seen." He was still speaking a little loudly, as if calling out to whatever unseen force that might be watching. God? Lucifer? Bueller?
